My Freakkin Life

8:27pm

 

I was feeling okay and everything until the 2nd period recess... my bones were aching and i felt cold.. i asked my friends to feel my forehead and see if it's hot cuz everytime my bones ache, im getting a fever... but they said no and left me bewilded.. they were like, "no." and walked off... wat's happening?? anyway, i went back to my seat and tried to concentrade on staring at my table.. what for? u may ask.. the answer, no reason... then i started to feel like it's really fever and went to some other friends to check my forehead.. one of them were like, "yeah, it's a bit warm." and the others acted like i wasn there... what IS happening?? i went back to my seat again and this time im sure the REAL fever is here... i was dizzy and my bones were acheing like mad.. the bell rang and everybody went back to their seats.. there was 4 period till the 6th period recess.. so i was like, quiet and all... nobody cared much oso.. so i jz live with it and tried to concentrade on wat teacher's teaching... eventually, i heard the recess bell rang again.. so i accompany ruwen to the school shop and waited outside cuz there was air-cond inside.. and so i waited.............and waited..................and  waited..... i think my face was quite fierce looking or whatever cuz i was really tired and ruwen was taking a long time.. so i went in, she was about to pay and i went out.. she handed my two panadols and told me she brought bread for me.. oh my gosh!! that was so super sweet of her!! i was touched.. lol.. haha... so we went back to my class and we chatted and i ate one panadol.. after that, i slept in chinese period and was SO uncomfortable...!! when the lesson was over, i stood up with great effort and asked the girl behind me if i could have her drink, just one mouthful to make the another panadol go down.. she said yes so i did that.... i slept for jz a while and when i woke up, i felt A LOT more better!! cool... the girl behind me told me my face was all red and black and looked like it was going to explode.. well, yeah, i felt that too.. hahahaha.. so i didn want to go for the after-skol activity and borrowed huai xuan's handphone to SMS to my mum...

 

after skol i was really a lot better.. then i went to cheng siu and waited for my mum to come... i waited..                           and waited..                          and waited.......... still no sign of her car... so i decided to wait some more.. tick tock tick tock.............. she didn appear.. i was very angry and calmed myself down b4 i explode.. so i saw some of my classmates and borrowed his handphone.. to my dismay, mum's handphone was off and NO ONE was at home!!! i was fuming... i was like, how could she and all that jest.. i saw hwee sin after a while and asked her if she could lend me her handphone when her dad comes.. i didn finish my sentence cuz i remembered that no one could answer the housephone and mum's handphone.. she thought i was about to ask her if she can bring me home... so she said yes b4 i said anything... so i was like, oh, okay, thanks... her dad came in a split second and fetched me home.. i was really grateful and all... thanks hwee sin...

 

mum opened the gate for me.. she was explaining that she jz saw the msg.. i was furious!!!!! i didn want to talk to her... i shouted something and ran up the stairs... to find still no internet connections so i went downstairs again.. my bones were aching so badly so i decided to look for antibiotic... and ate a piece of bread.. i drank something orangy but not orange juice for sure.. the door bell rang and it was auntie gek cheng.. damn.. i wanted to stay in front of the tv but i dun wan her to see me in this mess so i went to the study room and took that drink along.. i sat on the floor doing absolutely nothing... then i couldn take it anymore and went upstairs.. luckly she didn saw me.. i slept in my parents room.. praying that no one comes in when i was sleeping cuz i was really too tired to change out of my skol things... and i wore skirt.. lol.. haha...hahaha.. when i woke up, i felt MUCH MUCH MUCH better thanks to that wat-it-name-was drink.. i mess with my phone and my math tuition teacher called me..!! darn it. she asked for my math marks.. so i told her..

 

i went to sleep again..  then woke up. no one was at home except for ben and me.. i told him i went shower and did.. and here am i drinking the drink again and typing away... i think i should stop here.. mum's starting to nag.. for goodness sake.. ugh...

 

9:01pm

3:50pm

 

School was fine... NOT... I don wan to talk about it...

 

I finished the 6A class' 2004 blend but there was only 12 ppl inside... 6A class had 42 ppl... what happened to the others? well, I did have their photos, that's all... lol.. but I’ve asked the others to gimme their photos... ASAP... I jz hope they will... I had my piano lesson and my theory exam is on the 21st of August... we did theory throughout the lesson... no violin lesson today cuz Mrs. tan went for labor... I like her kid...   gosh, I do hope I pass my piano practical exam... after da lesson, I showered and here I am... no internet connection jz yet.. so I’ll probably post this at night... when my bro, Eugene, fix everything...

 

I was jz thinking, you know actually, I do love my mum and everything. even if I don’t, I wont say out loud or post it here cuz she doesnt deserve that... neway, I was jz saying, she's really great. she paid my fees, let me learn lots of things like, swimming, ballet, piano, violin, taekuondo, gymnastics, life, how to react and a lot more.... she did housework, cook for her three kids, taught us English, drives us everywhere... things like that. its jz that, maybe her way isn’t correct... I mean, the words she use... she would curse me, nag me, "accidentally" knock into me, pull my hair, step on my skirt and so on... it's terrible when she does that... cuz u would feel like she's your mother and she's suppose to be good example or she's suppose to be there for you when u're havin a bad day... but she's not, she wont be... if you're feeling really down, she wouldn bother even if she notice and she'll continue to nag all day long unless u get out of her sight... or if I answer back on times when she's wrong, she would scold me in such a way that I’d feel im jz a useless, low-class bitch like she said... but not all times she would be like that. Sometimes, when she's having a good day and is in a good mood, she would be nicer to me... for example, she jz told me about this article I’ll find useful... see, she'd be like that... but her mood swings very fast, from good to bad and bad to worse.. Never from bad to good... if u did something wrong when she's in a bad mood, you're one foot in the grave already... see? That’s why I never smile at home... unless im alone doing something I enjoy... *sigh*...  I dont blame her of course... I never should anyway...

 

ruwen showed me a picture of her cousin at recess jz now in skol... her cousin is really beautiful and she looks like a model... ruwen asked me to guess her occupation... so I said the answer would be model... but no... not model... she's a pilot!! wow! I love pilots..!!! I was quite taken aback at her answer... I know it's quite normal to have female pilots but I jz never thought that it would be someone like ruwen's cousin... not that im looking down on her or anything.. it's jz that, I never met or saw a woman who's a pilot... get what I mean? I really envy her and would very much be like her... that'll be so great... *sigh*... maybe someday... lol... xD

 

shu hui and the other ensemble club members are in summit now.... they asked me to go too but I don think I should... I’ve got far more things to concern than to go shopping...  so... the mall just isnt the place for me right now... ... well, gotta go do my theory now! I hope again, I can pass...

 

4:25pm

Yo yo yo~ English and Chinese essay today... English was freakkin easy.. lol.. haha.. Chinese essay was easy too.. the topic i chose was "the person i care most about"... know who i wrote? haha.. me!! lol.. xD.. !! true wat... muahaha.. think face prawn.... !! hahaha... It rained oso... then got a gal from my class so terrible.. the floor was wet so i put it somewhere dry.. but then, no space for her to put liao she took my bag and put it below hers... on the wet spot!! damn her..!! how could she?? ugh...

anyway, i came back from skol... feeling so great... sot liao la.. hahaha... sat in front of the pc from 12:30 until now.. lolxD... so fun!! hahaha... im makin 6A 2004's blend... but it's hard cuz i onli have some pictures... haihz...

I love this song: Cry. by Mandy Moore

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And it ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
it was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry (cry)
(The moment that I saw you cry)

It was late in September
and i've seen you before(and you were)
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed...

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
it was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything...alright

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
(In places no one will find)
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
(Oh no no)
(deep inside)Forever was in your eyes
It was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

Baby Cry!
The moment that I saw you cry
Oh no no
I think I saw you cry
The moment I saw you cry
[fades out]
I wanted to know you
I wanted to know you[fading]
I wanted to know you[fading more]

I've just realise that I'm very attach to all the Johor swimmers. I was just looking around my friends in friendster... There is quite alot of jhr swimmers inside so i took a look at the profiles and pictures one by one... got edmund de, colin de, charlotte, caroline, casey, richmond, raymond, qin jia, mei juan, siow ngoh, sheng yong, justin, hao zhi, ashley, min jia, kah shuain... and alot more la... then i came across one of the pictures.. duno why i was so so so happy... haha.. ki siao.. gtg now.. mum naggin like hell...

I didnt slept last nite... well, onli bout 3 hours... from 1am to 4am.. i oso didn study much.. i wanted to but i couldnt concentrade... all i did was, drank a packet of soya bean, walk around the house, messing about with my handphone, look at pictures, write a few things, smsed ruwen then went to sleep in my parents' room... lol.. the alarm rang at 3smthing am, i lazed on my bed then rmbered i haven finish my stuff... so i wen down the stairs to the study room and sat there, trying to remember wat i memorised last night... time flies, i was still kinda drowsy after 1hour... i didn study much.. then another hour past.. i didn study much oso.. so i gave up and went up to brush my teeth and stuff.. mum fetched us to skol after that...

i was quite early to skol today so i sat there trying to study as much as possible b4 the exam starts.. fantasy told me that BM essay first then Chinese... so i walked to ruwen's class and tried to find her.. with no luck.. i went back again to my class.. i must have looked like a fool walking to and fro on the kaki lima.. lol.. haha.. anyway, me and fantasy cracked up some jokes and i told xuann bout the day in 'cha fang' with qin jian they all.. she laughed... lol.. neway, i fell asleep after that and woke up went the bell rang.. haha..

i walked to 'chu 1 pin', my exam place la.. and tried to study again.. but in vain.. so i sat there chatted with suzanna, and she told me she got play friendster de.. i didnt think she got play.. she gave me her email and asked me too add her.. which reminds me i haven done that.. the bell rang again and i sat there in front of the teacher, aiyo, my place la.. then she pass us the exam paper.. i read the questions.. average la.. not too hard and not too easy.. i nvr pay attention in bm period so i was quite nervous bout my vocab.. i was very tired la.. i wrote abit of rumusan liao then tried to think wat was that word called in bm.. then i fell asleep.. shit man.. i woke up like 20 minutes later to find that i still have 30 minutes to go.. damn.. so i quickly choose one of the karangan and start to write.. it was the first one.. duno wat me and my friends were being suruh to mencantikkan kelas kami.. so i oso simply write la.. i think that karangan standard oso like primary skol de standard.. haha.. then i finish my rumusan 2 minutes b4 the teacher said pass up.. lolxD.. lucky me.. haha... ^^..

it was recess, i ran out of the classroom to get my textbook and exercise book.. chinese wan.. not bm.. over edi i wont feel anything de.. then i study lo... got la, got study abit in my head...lol..  thank god.. when the bell rang again the teacher pass us the question paper and i do lo.. quite ok la.. wont fail la.. i hope.. lolxD.. hahahaha.. but got some i didn study de la... hehehe

then after skol hor.. i wanted to go cheng siu and wait for my mum.. then got someone ask me to wait for her.. so i waited lo.. then we walked along the kaki lima.. she met her teacher and stopped to chat wif her.. so act cute oso.. i dun wan to perduli her liao so i walked past them.. then she asked me again to wait for her so i did.. then my another friend walk past me and waved.. i waved back.. i looked back to where this gal was standin onli to find she wasnt there.. how i boiled.. i looked in front and found she has already walked away with another gal from my class.. walau.. ma de.. so i jz close my mouth and walk to cheng siu.. then she realise i was at her back and turned around to ask me somethin... i oso didn wan to answer her.. shit man.. this kind of person.. think herself very good like that.. then always act cute pula..

so i was standing at the stairs alone waiting for my mum.. duno why i turned my head oso.. and found qin jian standing just behind me.. but across the road la.. i was wondering if that's him when he waved to me.. i waved back lo.. or did i smiled onli? aiya, cannot rmeber la.. so i turn my head back and longed my mum to hurry to fetch me.. haihz.. T_T.. then i heard a voice saying: "小姐可以认识你吗?" haha... qin jian lah!! i duno why i was kinda nervous oso then i said, 不可以.. he replied, zhuai.. so i said, 可以啦... 不可以... duno what i was saying oso... hahahahahaha... then we chatted lo.. he asked if im waiting for my mum.. i said yes.. then he duno said what he's going to 留级liao.. then ask me to watch his 同乐会 next year.. i said, 好啊.. then he laugh and repeated what i said.. aiyo, damn pai se le.. i asked him what's so funny.. then he said, no la.. haiyo.. cannot stand him la.. hehe.. kidding.. then we chatted some more and he told me that form 2 de things very easy to study de.. and said he regretted not studying.. he said his 总评均 never past xxx de... aiya, dun come and ask me he every year wat marks a.. i think my blog oso got some chs students read de.. later he found out and nvr tell me bout these things liao how? hhaahaha.. im very guai lan.. ... so we chatted lo.. then his bus come liao and said bye2 to me.. hahaha..

so after he was gone.. gone home.. not gone to heaven.. i jz stood there like a scarecrow waiting and waited.. finally, my 'panctual' mum arrived.. horray... -_-... when i got in, mum was explaning why she was late.. i didn even cared.. cuz if she arrived early jz now, i wouldnt hav talk with my ex-xuezhang.. lol... crzy d... hehe.. when i arrived home, i ate porridge, read the newspaper, shower, then come upstairs to use the pc here.. cuz today is monday and is my dad's off day... there's still exam tomorrow so he dosnt allow me to use the pc.. but i wanted to write my blog so.. see? im faithful to my blog.. hahahaha... muka tebal.. hehe..

oh and.. i've jz added suzanna and alex lim.. you know, the great swimmer... lolxD... hahahha...

my sides and thighs' muscles are aching.. ugh...

i was in a competition and i was champion for every event...i was on the stage wif all da medals on my neck when suddunly i heard a beeping noise.. it started softly den got louder every time... i close my eyes bcuz very noisy.. den i cannot tahan edi i opened my eyes and wanted to shout shut up to the beeping noise when i found out i was lying on my bed with my handphone beside me beeping away... great... it decided to wake me up so early.. 7am onli.. then.. WHAT?!?!?!??!  7am oredi?!?! shit.. i ran to brush my teeth and so on.. 15 minutes later i found myself in the car waiting for my mum to get in and fetch me to trainin... she asked me to get out of the car and put my skol shoes in the shoe rag.. walau... i wanted to told her i was running late edi and if she dont shut up and get in, i'll miss warm up.. onli i didn.. so i put on my black face and went down the car to put the damn shoes in the shoe rag.. then she continue to nag nag nag.. ask me again to get down and put my shoes in MY area and close the door.. i grumble under my breath and did as she pleased.. bcuz i know if i answer back now, i might never go trainin... then she finally got into the car and drove my there.. on the way, she nag nag nag.. about my skolwork, exam coming, wat theory haven do finish, room very messy.. piano didn practice.. didn do the laundry and so on.. i almost went crazy in the car.. and i asked myself why didn i brought my MP3 in the car.. for 7km she nagged.. i just sealed my mouth and pretend i didnt hear what she said.. it was plain torture to hav her nagging... and when she starts, she can't stop.. like addicted.. like hell la.. finally we arrived and i jumped off the car imediately.. didn even say thank you and bye.. im so rude.. lol.. anyway, went register as usual then waited for sir to fetch tzer huang, mandel they all lo... this time i got chit chat wif the others a bit.. not like yesterday.. so "zi bi"... then sir came and asked us to run 4 rounds.. around the pool.. ma de.. i cannot run le.. if i run then i cannot come back alive liao.. but still.. aiya, shui bian la, run lo.. then i drag myself around the pool four times then went to the squash court and sit there out of breath.. siow ngoh asked me.. really so tiring meh..? waseh.. i not like her can ma.. she's MSSJ runner le.. shiok lo.. then i onli smiled and lay down.. then we did warm up as usual la.. haha.. tzer huang was the leader dis morning.. aiya, we oso didn peduli him wan.. everytime so bi gao lan wan.. then we did all kinds of warm up la.. b4 going into the pool, got one duno wat it's called la.. last time when i was a gymnast i did that b4.. so i did it correctly la.. got one person a.. hmph.. everytime so stuck up.. this time sir oredi very fed up with us edi she still play play.. ask her to do she still slowly slowly do and keep pai se duno for wat.. then kena sir scold.. haha.. i went to put my swim things.. dun wan to see her kena marah oso.. spoil my mood...

training time.. haihyo.. shit la.. swim like hell leh.. we used the resistence (flower pot) and swam 1500m le.. shit.. almost died.. then today swam 3km.. but then i oso swam and swam until my arms falling off.. hey really le.. use resistence swim a.. my waist very painful now.. like going to patah any second.. haha.. sir said if wan to beat jb de must swim like that.. so i don care so much and continue swim.. must beat them.. onli dat it's not possible for me la.. if doreen or siow ngoh, any second can shove sarah and xue ting off... unlike me.. *sob*.. but i wan to say.. bp oredi not bad liao le.. u know hor, the whole malaysia, we are number 6th.. bcuz we onli train 4 times a week.. onli me is 3 times a week.. still can go to sukma or mssm and take medal le.. see? not bad eh? ok la.. enough crap bout us la.. stil got alot more ppl better than us oso.. lol.. so we swam harder than usual lo.. then after that went shower and joked around.. then muahaha.. auntie wai fun said i was the tallest among the three bp gals... muahaha.. but not very tall oso la.. just among 3 gals ma.. aiyo... i think im 160cm onli.. my mum 158cm.. yay... taller than her liao.. haha.. then auntie wai fun fetch me home.. cuz i oso dun wan to call my mum a.. dun wan listen to her nag oso.. on the way home, she brought fruits for me and doreen and herself to eat in the car.. thanks~.. then i reached home, makan, then sit down here write blog while listening to "music".. no la.. is my mum nagging la.. so now im going to sleep then wake up and study.. monday got exam.. chinese and BM essay... wish me luck.. im not going to trainin tonight.. nor am i going to use the pc today.. im very good hor.. cheh.. haha.. bye~

9:50pm

And so, I decided to go trainin... i phoned doreen's mum come and fetch me... on her car hor.. i duno why i wasnt happy and smilin like i was before. mayb it's bcuz i was nervous... ditto why oso.. then she told me about a competition on 17 of September... i cried... holy shit... i duno why.. tears just came flowing down my face and b4 i know it, i was cryin edi.. walau... memang paiseh la... i kept turning my head away cuz i dun wan them to see... auntie wai fun saw it but thank goodness doreen didnt... lol.. anyway, i got down the car wen we reached der and wen to register.. b4 warm up ho, sir wen to fetch tzer huang, mandel they all lo... so all of us chatted and laughed as usual la.. but i wasn doin that.. i duno why.. i really dunno... ok, mayb i know but i dun wan that to be the reason altho it really is.. aiyo, complicated la... den sir came and we warm up and stuff... thing went as usual, nobody realise i wasnt talking... thank goodness again... usually they would all buzz around me asking me wat happened to me.. but they didn... onli siow ngoh did.. but i told her i dun know why oso.. then she said ok and dat was it.. den hor, there's a gal i dun wan to say who la... she kept showing off her competition swimsuit le.. walau.. cant stand her oso.. i know she very great, can go alot of competitions and get medal and stuff.. but nonit show off like that ma... wan make ppl feel bad de le... haih... dun wan her to ruin my mood oso... hmph... THEN... sir scold us.. he said our attitude very bad.. everytime 25m easy, talk talk talk... non-stop.. he said if we wan to talk, warm up talk, go home talk, before he come talk... but in the pool, who talk, who get out.. very harsh le.. everybody shut up imediately.. except for me.. i was oredi shutted up... lol.. then he went on talking bout how he blah blah blah... i dun wan to repeat wat he said oso... he talk very long time a... but i agree with everything he said la.. he the best coach anyone could ever had... moving on, we swam in silence.. and i got really tired out.. i didnt swim for so long edi le... walau.. tomolo stil need to bring the "flower pot".. for swimming la.. where got use it to plant plants in da pool de.. im sneezing like hell now.. tissues everywhere.. not la, not everywhere.. in front of me onli.. on da way back from trainin, doreen fetched me la.. i mention my mum and dad went to melaka did i? well, yeah.. in da car, we told ghost stories.. eee... dun wan to talk bout it la.. the hairs on the back of my neck standing liao.. lol.. aiyo, i miss him more than he knows.. haha.. i dun wan tell u who.. hahaha... live with it la, im very bad de..

10:12pm

start: 4:48pm

Hey hey hey... lol.. came back from school 48 minutes ago... today chemistry a.. i tot very hard... but hor, easy until siao ah~.. all text bk de, luckily i got study oso la.. wait, i go toilet..

ok.. come back liao.. haha.. where was i..?? oh, now i continue... i nvr studied for chemistry oso.. hate that teacher lah, she's my form teacher.. ish.. very horrid a.. everyday wan to find fault wif me de.. but i oso tak peduli her la... wat for go listen to dog bark? no point oso... every1 in my class hate her a.. not all hate la, some onli dont like her.. but no one likes her lo... muahaha... ok, return to wat i was saying jz now... some ppl in my class hor, their studies are average la, not like me, everytime fail... *sad*.. but this time a, duno why i start to study liao... yesterday nite a, studied quite alot wor..so today.. erm, i tink can manage to pass la... nvm oso, no 80 marks oso nvm, as long as got pass enough.. lol..

then jz now oso got english essay.. i wrote like, 300 smth words u know, i didn count la, but i think got dat much oso... but the stupid rule must be 180 words below... walau, i sure die la... i still got write very lebih de words wor.. aiya, forget it oso, pass up edi, pray oso no use.... stupid rule... cannot let students write long long then have better vocab ma... underestimate us oso...

after exam i waited for my best friend for 1 hour leh!! walau, i almost killed her when i saw her... i hate to wait for ppl de.. really dont like ah!! got many times my mum didn come to fetch me after training and need me to wait for her for 45 minutes or more, i very boiling like volcano ready to explode wor... angry until i wan to cry a... shit.. my mum oso take no notice and continue to be late until got some times i wanted to walk back from bukit banang to my house.. about 7km ... barulah she willing to arrive punctual.. as for Wen a, that's my best friend i was talking bout, aiya, forgive her la... she oso got tell me she will b late onli i didn expect her 2 b 1 hour late... den we went to "cha fang".. a place where alot of couples from my skol go der and "pa to".. we went der and find sooo many ppl der.. but all together one... then duno how oso, we found out they are "2 wen 2" de students... not all la, maybe some cannot come.. cuz exam ma.. my ex-"xue zhang" was der oso, and "jia xiang", the red tie guy and lychee oso der.. duno why he was invited oso... anyway, we got talk and laugh la... den jia xiang said my written words in my bk very ugly... walau... didn ask for his advise oso keep talk talk talk until wen and me fedup ah... haha.. no la, not very fedup oso... cuz he is actually a nice guy la... haha... soli hor, he got girlfriend edi, so don think too much... then my ex-"xue zhang", qin jian, haha... he a... very cute... haha.. duno how to say la... he's jia xiang's sidekick... my class got alot of girls like him oso... haha... im his no.1 fan of course la... cheh... hehe.. turns out it was ah chao's birthday la.. so dey brought cake and play play play lo... aiya, ah chao oso forgotten who i am edi la, so nonit wish him happy birthday oso can de... hehe... very wicked hor... hahaha...  actually we went there to study together de.. but hor, too noisy la.. but the time they all went back, we oso lost interest studying lo... so aiya, go home la.... haha... why i keep haha har? lol...

haihzz.. sienz a... getting fatter each day... three weeks didn go for training edi... might as well stop la... haihzz... so sad... last time very long ago i was on top on the list of johor swimmers de le.. haha... thick face.. then hor... two girls there had a fight wif me then i oso lost interest in swimming.. plus got alot of things happen la... like, who like who then who betray who or who hate who... dat kind of things la... duno why everybody cannot live together ok ok de... so different from the kl or other states de swimmers, all so united and nice to each other.... haihzz.... anyway, i wen downhill in swimmin lo... haihz... i really miss those days when i went to all those great great competitions that only good swimmers can go de... now a... haihzz.. this year de mssm and sukma i didn get selected oso... sarah, siow ngoh, doreen, xue ting they all all better then me... so... haih.. i really love swimming la, to be frank.. but.. my dad oso not supportive.. he only wan me to study study study until crazy... then become doctor like him... i hate this kind of thinking a... i can oso be good at other things but no one to support me so i can onli be sad then study study study until crazy jz to please him... i really miss competition times when we were playin and having fun together la... now slowly but surely, one by one the swimmers are going away liao.. not die la... is growing up liao... haih... old ppl say young ppl don always haih and haih and keep sighing... but wat can i still do besides sighing? swimming is not like some other sports, want to become very great then can become very great de... swimming needs time... im old liao lo... 14 edi le... not 7 le... if still 7 a, i can still continue in swimming... now a.. i think my coach oso think i tak boleh edi... aiya, fine la, i'll face facts, i'll study study study until crazy for ppl to see wat can happen to a person if u take away their dreams and hopes... haihz... thinking back i oso wan to cry... really very heart breaking de le.. i think other swimmers know how i feel... together go competition together , hav fun together, swim together, get scold by coach together, tipu sikit workload together, makan the forbidden ice-cream together, get caught together... all these things u know... it's really sad la... to give up when i could be one of the best... but now... how.... no choice edi... gotta face facts.. im not getting any younger pula... haihzz....

so later i got training i think im oso not going la... cuz my dad surely wil say no de... cuz stil got exam on monday and tuesday... or should i? should i go training and then swim until im out of breath then get laugh by others... wait, i go switch on the fan... a stupid blood-sucking mosquito flying around my legs... walau... itchy a... ok, continue... now wat to do? 5:34pm now... training at 7pm... but if want to go must ask doreen come to fetch me cuz my mum and dad went to melaka... aiyo.. headache a... if wan to stop then i really want to stop all trainin and not go to the pool anymore.. but if dun wan stop then must improve or will kena ppl laugh.. saying i swim until old liao still like dat... haihz.... im turning crazy la...   but for sure one thing... swimming is my life....

end: 5:38pm

我数学一向都不是很好，除了课本写的，其他而外的都不会做了。

今天是考历史和数学。历史嘛，是我最喜欢的科目之一。而且，是容易到爆啊！70-90分应该拿得到吧...

至于数学，三个字：很难啊!!!

大家都预测这次的数学考试应该不会太太太难，因为是统一的。学校老师和补习老师都跟我们讲课本的会做就OK了。哪里知道，我拿到考卷审题时，差点哭出来呢！

我不懂是我没有把课本的都学会了还是是真的难到我完全不会做。很严重叻！我哥说：“初二数学而已，有可能难到哪里去？”说的也是。不过，我还是不会做啊！
监考老师还笑我叻。。。 这次真的死定了啦！稳不及格啊！

我问过很多人了，会不会做。大家都很轻松的说很难。喂，什么意识叻！只有我班
那两个每次都拿一百的：一瑜和家晟会拿一百。为什么人家可以我不可以？！？！？！我很努力了。。。